Mother Nature can be a bitch...but not always.

*sniff* One of my two guppies died this morning. Poor lil' Leopard. I don't seem to be having much luck with guppies. Well, Panther seems to be doing fine so far...it's only been about a week...we'll see, I may get him a buddy sometime soon. The platies are much hardier, it seems. Big Red, Little Red, and even Gimpy with his deformed spine have been thriving for months now, ever since I got the aquarium back in the summer. The corydoras, Dim Sum and Chicken Ball, are also pretty tough.

I really like having fish--wish I was more ambitious, 'cause I'd love to set up a bigger tank (mine's just 5 gallons). On the other hand, being limited to just a few fish makes it a hell of a lot easier to keep track of their names!

In other news, a chickadee flew into my window this morning. Thought he was a goner, but just in case, I brought him inside the house in a shoebox for a little while....and when Allan and I went in to check on him, we heard scratching in the box. Brought it back outside, opened the box, and without a moment's hesitation the little guy flew off into the trees. Yay!

Just get me to New Orleans!

Okay, Che Grovera may have found the coolest spot ever (though I may be biased), and I have just got to spend Mardi Gras here:

http://www.meauxbar.com/us.html

On a completely unrelated note...Captain Lordhelmet, may I suggest a new name for the MurderLounge?

Hope everyone's had a lovely Christmas. Me, I can't complain. Certainly wasn't magical, but I didn't expect it to be...pretty sure the magic of Christmas is reserved for small children and their parents...so, yeah...it was nice. Spent some obligatory but reasonably pleasant time with the folks and folks-in-law, got some pretty cool presents, ate a ton of turkey.... Right now, we're watching Allan's favourite Christmas (or should I say Xmas) gift of all, Bender's Game. Thanks, Jeremy--'twas a hit! Next in the queue, The Dark Knight. Hey TMax, shall we make it a virtual movie night?

'Til next year, folks!

Holiday Cheer

For those of you who, like myself, can't seem to get in the lovey-dovey holiday spirit, I present Christmas funnies courtesy of my father:

The Shopping Trip: a novella (or pretty close...sorry, folks!)

As the holiday season draws near, dear friends, let me give you the gift of laughter. Please know that it very nearly came with the cost of my sanity, or at least what little of it I possess.

Yes, let me tell you about my Bingo Bus Tour to Bangor.

Why was I on a bingo bus tour? Well, that's a storylet in itself. My friend Mellissa, who I've known for a few years now (mostly just from group gatherings, since she and her fiance are among our "couple friends"), has asked me to be her maid of honour. Very exciting. So, when she asked me a couple of months ago if I'd join her and her mother on this trip--because her mom was going for the bingo, and Mellissa wanted someone to go shopping with while the rest of the tour group played bingo all day--I could hardly refuse the chance to spend some one-on-one girly time with her, right? Besides, at less than $400 for the travel and three nights' accommodation, it really wasn't a bad deal for a pre-Christmas shopping trip to Bangor, the closest thing to Nova Scotia which might rightly be called a "shopping Mecca."

So, upon agreeing to go, I drove with Mellissa and her mom to the local bingo hall to meet the lady who was taking our deposit money for "Sue-Ann Tours." Yeah...right there, the name kind of speaks to the professional, above-board nature of the tour company.

The raspy-voiced retiree asked me to print my name and phone number out for her on a scrap of paper, stressing (about five times) that it had to be "exactly as it appears on your birth certificate." When I pointed out that my name is hyphenated (and obviously, I wasn't married to Allan at birth) she looked at me like I was stupid, and crabbily told me to write my name as it appeared on my birth certificate, because it'd have to match up with the ID I bring to the border with me. I told her I planned on bringing my passport with me, not my (mother-effing, godtopus-damned) birth certificate.

So she said, "Well, print your name exactly how it appears on your passport." Gee thanks, genius lady.

Okay, deposit was paid, and I just had to wait for the day of the big trip. Mellissa stressed that we were to be on the bus at 5:30 in the morning and they weren't going to wait for anybody, so I should be there early. I was required to bring the balance of the cost of the tour with me that morning in cash, and it had to be in an envelope. Oh yes...I'm sure Sue-Ann tours is a totally legit business. But whatever.

Friday, December 5th, 5:26 am. Allan pulls up at the departure area. Mellissa runs over and half-scolds, "I was waiting for you! We thought you weren't going to make it!" Thus, my hopes of running over to the Tim Hortons (which was all of about 50 metres away from the bus) to grab a much-needed coffee were dashed. Resigned, I loaded my bag under the bus and took a seat, and the bus proceeded to wait 'til about 5:45 for one last lady to show up (all the while thinking, *mutter, mutter* no effing time for an effing cup of effing coffee my effing ass...).

Finally, the bus pulled away, and I nestled into my aisle seat as best I could and waited for sweet, sweet sleep to take over at this ungodly hour. Mellissa was curled up against the window, using her coat as insulation against the frosty wall of the bus. Some of the other ladies were also settled in for some sleep, but there were quite a few ladies chattering excitedly about the wondrous bingo adventure ahead. It faded nicely into the background and became white noise after a while...except for one lady, who I will curse until the day I die. She was one of the tour organizers, and was seated in the front row. The sixty-something slag was flirting with the one male on the bus (the driver), and felt the need to shout her "cute" come-ons at full freakin' volume for all of us to hear.

At six o'clock in the morning.

So, my attempts at sleeping until a decent hour were punctuated by such gems as,

"OOH GORDON, WHEN WE GET TO THE MOTEL, YOU CAN HAVE MY SPARE ROOM KEY AND COME UP FOR A VISIT!"

and,

"OH, I'VE GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING TO SHOW GORDON LATER! I THINK HE'LL LIKE IT TOO, WON'T YOU, GORDON?"

*shudder* I don't know what Gordon thought of all this, but I was kind of wishing he'd get up and heave her under the bus.

Around 7:30 or so, all hope of sleep was abandoned. One of the old dears near the back of the bus announced that she had brought a video that everyone was just going to love, and thus began the reign of Daniel O'Donnell. "Daniel In Blue Jeans," the DVD, began at 7:30 in the morning and ended...amazingly...shortly before we arrived at the border some eleven hours later. It was paused only during our bi-hourly smoke-and-pee breaks, and for the on-bus bingo games.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the musical stylings of Daniel O'Donnell, well, congratulations, you lucky SOBs--I was one of you sisteen sweet days ago. Daniel O'Donnell is an Irish singer, and according to Wikipedia is "almost more famous for his gentle, soft-spoken personality and clean cut image, than for his musical endeavours." No kidding--when he busted out a microscopic hip thrust in the midst of his Elvis tribute, he apologised to his dear sainted mum who was in the audience. *gag* So, yeah...kind of an Irish Donny Osmond. Along with his musical partner Mary Duff (read: Irish Marie Osmond), Daniel treated his fans to rousing renditions of everyone's favourite tunes from yesteryear. To be fair, most of his musical selections were suited to his style--corny, bubblegum fluff. When Daniel and Mary (and the backup dancers) dressed up like near-geriatric teenagers to perform a Grease Lite-styled mini-musical, it was a major eye-roller, but not unexpected. However, I was almost brought to tears by his Beatles medley: bastardized snippets of Hey Jude, Yesterday, and Ticket To Ride, culminating in a little-old-lady choir mournfully droning, "Myyy bayyybyyy donnnnn't caaaaaare...." Oh, and who could forget Daniel encouraging the biddies in the audience to chime in to the chorus of "Living Next Door to Alice" with the risque line, "Alice? Alice? Who The Heck Is Alice?"

I think a small piece of my soul died on that bus trip.

Oh, and I haven't even told you about the bingo yet! Mellissa and I each paid the $5 entry fee to participate in a "set" of bingo (i.e., a series of ten games). Bet you thought Bingo was just "get a line of numbers and win some stuff," right? Well! Boy howdy, would you be wrong! There are about a million variations that have been developed to make bingo the exciting game that it is. Why, there's Postage Stamp, Crazy Bow Tie, Crazy T, Right-way T, Hardway Six-Pack, 'Round the Free Space, 'Round the World, Double-Bingo Cornella....oh, and these ladies expect you to know exactly what all these terms mean! Yessiree Bob, bingo ain't for sissies! Thankfully, Mellissa's mom was there to explain to me just what the hell a crazy bow tie looks like, and that "double-bingo" means that when the lady calls "I-21", it means that you cover BOTH 21 AND 12 (get it? Double bingo!).

What killed me was that despite having an encyclopedic knowledge of the infinite variations of bingo, half of these women couldn't figure out how to fill in their goddamned customs cards right. Argh.

So, Mellissa and I gamely participated in a single set of bingo, lost our $5, and returned to our respective distractions while the others played on. She had her iPod (lucky bitch--my Shuffle was in my luggage, and hasn't been updated in over a year, so my tune selection wasn't very exciting anyway), and I had a book of variety puzzles that I picked up at a gas station. I had brought along my Christmas cards to write on the bus, but between the sleep deprivation and Daniel (mothereffing) O'Donnell was unable to muster up the required jolliness to even consider picking them up.

We arrived at the border and were subjected to an hour-long wait, though it could have been worse--mercifully, we were let off with just a warning when a couple of passengers' mis-spelled names raised red flags on the part of the customs officers (I kid you not!).

A couple of hours later (roughly 13 hours after we left home), we were settled into our motel. We got our keys and deposited our bags, then returned to the bus for a trip to Sam's Club (which is the Walmart-affiliated US equivalent to Costco). 'Twas OK, though the 1-hour time limit on fifty-odd ladies to find their way through the mammoth store (let alone the mammoth checkout line). We were back in the motel and in our beds by ten, leaving us loads of sleep-time prior to getting up for our 7 am (seriously!) venture to Kohl's department store. After an hour and a half there, the bus returned to take folks back to the motel in time for the 10:30 departure to the Big Bingo Game!!! Mellissa and I got dropped off at the mall. After a long, hard day of shopping, we walked back to the motel (in the snow--can't believe we had to leave Canada to see that!) with our loot. We got in at around 4:00, and the bingo bags got in at about 6:30.

We met at 7:00 for one of the highlights of the trip: the buffet dinner. Sue-Ann Tours, in their infinite generosity, provided us with a buffet catered by none other than KFC. Honestly, they couldn't have at least picked some cheap fast-food restaurant that we DON'T have back at home? Oh, and what did they provide for us to drink? Fountain pop? Freakin' tap water?? No! Nothing at all! What the hell, people?! Fried chicken, salty-ass taters, rolls with some kind of bizarre packets of fake butter spread, and...NOTHING!

Later that evening, there was a party featuring a cash bar (we snuck in our own drinks), door prizes and the musical talents of one of the bus drivers from the tour. We stayed for the door prizes...didn't win anything (aww shoot, and I really wanted a tacky Christmas ornament or a gift certificate for $25 off my next Sue-Ann tour...).

On Sunday, Mellissa and I got up at our leisure and made our way to Old Navy and the L.L. Bean Outlet. After that, a second run at the mall. Later, back to the motel to re-join the bingo bags (Mellissa's mom won about a grand--yay for her!), and catch the bus to the famous Burlington Coat Factory. Meh, not much to write home about, though I did get an awesome baby-blue undershirt-and-long-underwear ensemble for work. Later, when my husband saw me in them, he informed me I looked like a Smurf...(in his defense, he did say "a CUTE smurf"). Afterwards, the group departed for "The Big Walmart." Hallelulia, Mellissa and her mom were similarly disinclined to go there, so instead we returned to Kohl's.

Taking a cue from my shopping mates, I decided to treat myself to some 70-percent-off semi-expensive and completely unnecessary splurge-y jewelry. Got a completely fabulous aquamarine necklace for about $150 (original price, $425--oh, yeah!). Also, for more everyday wear, an adorable snowflake pendant for twenty bucks (nee $90). *Teeheehee* Little meaux-meaux's girly streak was out in full force!

Thusly satisfied, we returned to the motel. We had another super-early morning to prepare for, as the bus was to leave at 6:00 am in order to avoid the coming blizzard. Wake-up call was for 5:00, and we were required to have our bags outside of the bus for loading at 5:30.

Morning came all too soon, of course, and we groggily got up and finished the last of our packing. I remember Mellissa once telling me that she's not a morning person (while complaining about her in-laws to be, who are downright chipper in the early hours). Well. She. Was. Not. Kidding. Holy hell, she was an absolute bear--muttering about the bus driver not being at his post ("Does he expect us to leave our bags there when he's not even around to watch them?"), skulking away from her mom and I in the breakfast room without a word to return to our rooms to take out the luggage alone, then crankily stating the obvious to me when I figured it out and went to help her ("Well, I wanted to have all the bags there before we had our breakfast."). Yikes!!!

Then, off to the bus, where I attempted to drift off to sleep with a quick prayer that Daniel O'Donnell would not make a repeat performance. (Thankfully, he did not. Sadly, sleep did not make a performance either.) The trip was relatively uneventful, and we had an easy border cross this time around.

*slight overshare warning* I took advantage of the washroom break near the New Brunswick-Nova Scotia border, so didn't feel the need to get off the bus an hour later in Truro--after all, the next stop would be at the Canso Causeway, about two hours' drive away. Well, I didn't expect that a snowstorm would bring whiteout conditions, slowing the bus down to a slow crawl, so that it took us about 4 hours 'til the next stop...and with a ton of water and a huge cup of coffee in my system, I along with two little old ladies literally ran from the bus, and it's a damned good thing there were three stalls available, 'cause I would NOT have been above some shoving. *end overshare warning*

The return voyage was not entirely devoid of entertainment--besides stifling a giggle every time the old bingo caller lady cried, "Oh! Sixty-nine!" (okay, maybe that was just me), we were treated to a few movies. We watched Mona Lisa Smile (I'd seen it before and forgotten about it, but it was an okay movie), then Along Came Polly (meh, it was a Ben Stiller movie...), and then--the highlight--Chuck and Larry. Holy mother of fuck, that is one vile and horrid movie! Happily, we arrived home before it ended, but I was still left with the urge to kick Adam Sandler in his homophobic, ah-ha-ha-aren't-those-froots-funny balls.

At last, I was on my way home with my wonderful husband, unbelievably grateful that I had wisely decided to book a vacation day Tuesday, so that I could catch up on some much needed sleep.

Who knew a weekend spent with a bunch of sixty-somethings could be so freakin' exhausting?!

Bittersweet (mostly sweet) Weekend

Well, I made it through my first memorial service for a friend on Friday. Not a milestone I'd recommend, for anyone who hasn't been there yet. Although it was a relatively impersonal religious service, it was the first time I'd really let myself think of the fact that I'll never see Audrey again, so it was pretty hard to keep myself together. I couldn't look at her photo at the front of the church, or at her dad in the front pew...didn't want to turn into a complete sobbing mess in front of all of my co-workers, and I did fairly well until I made it back out to the parking lot of the church. So glad Allan came with me for moral support.

Anyway, as I mentioned, our Christmas party was that evening. In spite of the sadness in the afternoon, we had a lovely time as evidenced by the crazy Facebook photos. They're fun people--and I'm a lucky gal.

Saturday was pretty lazy, I managed to get off scot-free in the hangover department this time, and spent some time at the market, followed by a run out to the mall--as of Friday, our fair city finally has a proper pet store. Better yet, a friend of mine is the manager of the reptile/aquarium section of Pets Unlimited! Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, it was cuh-razy busy on Saturday, so I didn't get anything. However, I will return--my teensy aquarium has room for a couple of guppies. Oh, and my turtles are SO getting a tub of mealworms for Christmas.

Today, I went to my first ever Christmas "cookie" exchange...since I'm a terrible baker, I made my (fairly popular, if I do say so myself) homemade salsa to give out. The hostess, who I know from the Farmers' Market, is an amazing baker herself (if you want to drool at photos of her stuff, check out The Cocoa Pod Sweet Catering), so I knew it'd be good. The party was really lovely, lots of nice gals there--and lots of babies, all of whom were very cute and well-behaved...if my uterus had a heart, it'd probably be throbbing at them. And the food...I left the house with 14 tubs of salsa, and returned with probably a dozen different treats...cookies, squares, little bags of salty snack mix....Oh yes, it was awesome.

And now, the weekend draws to a close. *sniff* Ooh, speaking of weekends, I must remember to write about last weekend's shopping trip to Bangor. Much to tell...too much to get into now, but I'm sure there will be a laugh or two to be had at my expense....

Scatterbrain

Okay, time to lighten things up around here. I'm stealing this meme from Jeremy, it made me laugh. Don't know that my shuffle was as co-operative as his, but it had its moments:

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

All I Am is All You're Not (pfft, damn right I am!)

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

Talk Show Host (uhhh…wow, I hope that's not true...)

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

The Only Living Boy in New York (I guess I have high standards?)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Gold In Them Hills (actually, kind of fitting.)

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE??

Ignoreland (well, I am a champion at ignoring stuff 'til the last possible minute)

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Pluto (yeah! Be like the non-planet planet, bitches!)

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Supernatural Superserious (huh, interesting.)

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Who Loves The Sun? (kind of zen, yes?)

9) WHAT IS 2+2?

I Am A Wicked Child

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

A Wolf At The Door (oh, gosh...sorry, April)

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Bear & The Barbed Wire (Ooh, he's pointy!)

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Cosmic Thing (heehee, awesome!)

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Cool It Down (yeah, man--enough with the questions!)

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

I'm Not A Kid Anymore (dammit, that would have worked so much better for the previous question…or the next, for that matter)

15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Spin The Black Circle (huh…my parents really are weird.)

16)WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Subterranean Homesick Alien (that would've been cool, actually)

17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) (…ummm...ouch!)

18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Knives Out (really! Angelina and I play it all the time together!)

19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

We Walk The Same Line (yes, it's true--I'm stalking you....)

20) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Tango Till They're Sore (damn straight!)

21) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Accelerate (speed does kill, you know.)

22) HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Friendship (oh, dear…)

23) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

Wall of Death (yeah...I shouldn't have built that....)

24) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Lewis (Mistreated) (yeah, I'm mean like that. Take that, Lewis! Ha-ha!)

25) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Reckoner (uhh...they can't all be winners, eh?)

26) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Meeting In The Aisle (wow, nice job, Shuffle!)

27) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Burn For It (Hmm, a little latent religious fear of hell there?)

28) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Poor Helpless Dreams (aww, how pitiful am I?)

29) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

Losing California (yeah, you heard me. Stupid state.)

30) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Alarm Call (my ears!)

31) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Scatterbrain (this came up one question too soon…)

32) HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE YOU?

Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors (err, revolving doors? I feel as though my delicate female sensibilities should be somehow offended)

33)WILL I HAVE A HAPPY LIFE?

Circus Envy (so...I'll live in such a way that clowns will be jealous of me? Cool, I guess...)

34)WHAT DO MY FRIENDS REALLY THINK OF ME?

Believe in Me (aww, that's nice)

35) DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER ME?

Karate (huh?)

36) HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?

Paranoid Android (doesn't everyone need one of those?)

37)WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE?

Vancouver Divorce (yikes, how do I break that to Allan?!)

38) WILL I EVER HAVE CHILDREN?

Reason For Our Love (Ohh, nononono, that is most certainly NOT the reason.)

39) WHAT IS SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR ME?

Polyethylene (parts 1 & 2) (Damn right! Plastics IS the future!)

40) HOW WILL I BE REMEMBERED?

Brandy Alexander (Remembered as a beverage? Well, there are worse ways...)

41) WHAT IS MY SIGNATURE DANCING SONG?

Underwhelmed (appropriate, as that is how anyone would in fact feel about my dancing)

42)WHAT DO I THINK IS MY CURRENT SIGNATURE SONG?

Black Swan (yes, this works. It is fucked up indeed.)

43) WHAT DOES EVERYONE THINK MY SONG IS?

The Good In Everyone (yeah, that kind of works too…I think I come off as a diplomatic sort.)

44) WHAT TYPE OF MEN DO YOU LIKE?

Troublemaker (oh, so not true!)

45) WHAT IS MY DAY GOING TO BE LIKE?

Superconnected (hmm, intriguing!)

My Beautiful Friend

"My beautiful friend" is how Audrey, ever the dramatic sort, always addressed me in her emails. I only met her a few years back, in the spring of 2006, when she came to work as our receptionist. We spent a lot of time one-on-one in her early days at the office, and became fast friends--she was such an open, bubbly, lively person, it was damned near impossible not to love her. She had the most wonderful habit of always passing along the good things that others said about you, and not the bad--it was like constructive gossip. She was the really, really cool friend who makes you feel like you're actually kind of a cool person too.

She was one of the most stunning girls I'd ever met. She looked so young, I honestly couldn't believe we weren't the same age (she had a whole ten years on me!). With her long, blond hair and huge smile, she'd light up the room any day of the week--but when she'd dress up to go out for the evening? Damn, the girl could stop traffic!

Ever the free-spirited world traveler, Audrey lived at home with her dad, preferring to save up her income to go on trips with friends from around the world. She'd been to England and ran a marathon in Ireland, had a few trips down south, and always talked about spending a year in Australia. When she left our office for a new job after just a year, it was to take a job out west that had a six week on/one week off schedule and would pay her airfare to home--or anywhere she wanted!--during her off time. I couldn't imagine a more perfect job for her! We kept in touch after she left. She spent her off weeks in NY, Florida, the Rockies...so many adventures.

Three months ago, Audrey was diagnosed with cancer. The prognosis wasn't good, but when I last spoke with her in October, she was in good spirits--she was feeling okay, and had started to regain some of the weight she'd lost (we're the same height, 5'6"...and she was thrilled to be back over 100 pounds). She'd recently returned from a beautiful trip to Hawaii, and was planning a December trip to Florida with family and friends. She was about to move in with her brother in Ontario for a while, and after that, planned to come back to Cape Breton to move back with her dad. I was looking forward to seeing her again.

Never got the chance. Audrey passed away last week. I miss her. I'll never forget the fun and fabulous times we had together. Don't really know how to feel; I'm still kind of in shock. The memorial service will be this Friday, and I suspect it's really going to hit home, being there with all of my co-workers. Our Christmas party is going to be that evening...we'll be the glummest table at Yuk Yuk's.

To the fabulous and adventurous Audrey MacNeil, my beautiful friend who really and truly lived her life.

Groundhog Hangover

Had a lovely time Friday night, didn't go TOO overboard, and made a few new friends among the bottles on the liquor store shelf (Darling Kiwi Cuvee, it was a pleasure to make the acquiantance of a nice $10 Sauv Blanc such as yourself!). We got home at about 10:30, I stayed up 'til about 1:00 chatting and laughing with my oldest and dearest friend April, who lives out of town (she came up for the event and crashed at my place). Good times. But then, in spite of my reasonably moderate behaviour...I was struck with the dreaded disproportionately horrible hangover.

I woke up at 7:45 with a headache. Had a shower. Felt a little better. Drank some water. Sat on the couch watching TV with Allan. Suddenly, while Alyssa Milano was talking about the skin-clearing miracle of Proactiv, I bolted to the loo and promptly dehydrated myself. Hauled ass back to bed....

I woke up at about 10:00. Sipped a little glass of water slowly and with some trepidation...but my head was still aching, and I knew it was from lack of fluids. Okay, okaaaaaayyyyy.......no. Not okay. That water went down the sink too, while my husband made some crack about Alyssa Milano not even being on the TV this time. Hauled ass back to bed.....

I woke up at 12:30, and was a little sad to realize that I wasn't going to make it to the Farmer's Market this morning. Stomach felt slightly better, but head was still sore, and I had that general weak achy feeling. Water was no problem to keep down, and I even attempted toast, although after about 5 bites I put the rest away for later, which my friend found amusing (she had just recently woken up, and was feeling...not great, but able to drink coffee, at least. Ugh, my stomach lurched at the thought of coffee....). I sat on the chair with cat in lap, and waited for the day to just go away. I soon realized that the day wasn't going fast enough like that. So, hauled ass back to bed.....

I woke up at 2:30. Felt halfway human, able to finish my toast and some more bland food, and even felt like I could join April and Allan in running into town in my car to pick up theirs (we left their cars in town and cabbed home). We'd then say goodbye to April and pick up some groceries before returning home. Well, despite feeling like I'd rather be under a rock (or possibly dead) the whole time, I made it to town all right. However, when we got to the cars and Allan bravely offered to pick up the groceries himself (he doesn't like grocery shopping, and it's particularly painful on Saturdays with the extra-long lineups), leaving me to drive straight home, I took him up on it. *sigh* Yes, folks, he's a keeper!

So, the rest of my day was spent lounging on the couch watching Dexter and Battlestar Galactica (doing my crossword while the latter was on...just can't seem to get as excited about Battlestar as Allan is...I mean, I recognize that it's a good show, and I'm following the general plot, but it doesn't really grab me), and slowly returning to the land of the living. Right now, I'm about 90% there.

So, yeah, I think my liver will be getting a nice, long break for the next couple of weeks. Hopefully, she'll be all nice and regenerated in time for the office Christmas party....

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Oh, yes, boys and girls--it's almost that day! The day you've all been waiting for! Okay, the day I'VE been waiting for. Yes, tomorrow is the Nova Scotia Liquor Commission's Annual Wine, Beer and Spirits Showcase! For three blissful hours, I will be surrounded by tables featuring over 100 different sorts of beverages, all free for the sampling. The possibilities? Endless, my friends!

With my wonderful husband and our friends in tow, we shall proceed to sample until we can no longer stand on our own two feet. The cost of admission, $30 each. Cab ride home, $25. Annual Wine, Beer and Spirits Showcase experience? Priceless. It's our third time going to this event...The first year, I ended up in rough shape...and very thankful that the room we crashed in had an ensuite bathroom (I'm pretty sure I cleaned up after myself quite well...if not, my apologies to Steve and Kirsty!). My own damned fault; when the announcer said "Ladies and gentlemen, the showcase will be ending in 15 minutes," my intoxicated self interpreted it as, "Ladies and gentlemen, for the love of pete, drink as fast as you can before the bastards put it away!!!" Last year, I held up pretty well...my dear husband, however, was damned near incoherent. Maybe this year, we'll both be well-behaved...or the opposite?

An interesting twist this year, though. My good-hearted but at times painfully mopey co-worker, who has become a part of my regular social crew (to my occasional chagrin), will be at this event. As well, my boss has decided that he's going, too! Not that I'm too worried about getting trashed in front of the boss--it's a small office, we've already seen everybody at their worst. But...it will be interesting. I'm just not used to hanging around with the boss-man in a non-work social setting (work parties aside). Anyway, I don't think the presence of co-workers will affect my social time too much...I would prefer a little more separation of work life and social life, but what can I do when the co-worker befriends my friends? *sigh*

Anyway, that's my exciting Friday night...I'd better enjoy it, 'cause I don't have many of those in the run of a year!

Well, since everyone else is doing it...

All right, here's my Top 5, in no particular order. I'm not ambitious enough to go looking for photos, I'm afraid, so you'll just have to use your imaginations. Trust me, that works juuuust fine...

1. Clive Owen - The accent, the smouldering looks, what's not to love?! I still think he would have made a better Bond than Daniel Craig...but that's probably just my special valley talking.

2. Edward Norton - Mmmm, he just seems so intense and intelligent-hot. I choose to ignore the rumours that he's a bit of an asshole on the set.

3. Robert Downey Jr. - A fairly recent addition to my lust...I mean...list. Growing up has really agreed with him. Aged like fine wine.

4. You know what? Seth mothereffin' Green rocks my world. He's gingery cute, has a great sense of humour, and seems like a genuinely nice guy. Love, love, love him. The character of Chris Griffin tests my love a wee bit, but I can deal with it.

5. I creep myself out a teensy bit by even saying it, but damned if Daniel Radcliffe doesn't turn me the hell on. I love his big baby blues (ugh, I know, emphasis on "baby"), and I'm a sucker for the British accent (see #1). And hey, he sure looks like a man when he's starkers on stage. I recently caught a bit of one of the first Harry Potter films and felt like a horrible, horrible person...but then I saw that picture on Pajiba's list of men Dustin thinks gay men go for, and it all came flooding back. I wanted to rip that leather vest thingy right off his chest (*ahem* In my defense, it was a really hideous vest).

Bonus team-switching pick: Portia DeRossi. She's funny, hot as hell, and has hair that I want to bury myself in. Also, I figure that if I'm going to experiment, it ought to be with someone who knows what she's doing.

Ahh, Almost-Saturday!

Mmm, it's the cusp of the weekend. Delicious Saturday awaits--I'll wake up at about 9:30, maybe lounge in bed with my rather adorable husband Allan for a bit, then get up and head to the Farmer's Market. There, I'll meet my friend (a.k.a. my "Market Husband," since the real one doesn't enjoy the Market at all) and his girlfriend, maybe another couple of buddies will show...we'll chat with the vendors and grab some fair-trade coffee and breakfast, and just sit and be mellow. Ahhh, bliss. Last time the Market Husband and I were there, we sat around talking 'til closing time (1:00 pm), and we went home with free bread (one couple didn't want to pack all of their wares to take home with them!) and an apple pie (just because we offered one of the ladies our assistance fixing her car). It's just so nice to be part of a lovely little community like that! I love my Market buddies!

Then, it's home to my husband, our critters, and the crossword. Every Saturday, three generations of my family sit down to the NY Times crossword puzzle (consequently, every Sunday, my dad, grandma, and I consult each other to check our answers). It's a couple of hours of relaxing, positively brain-tingling wordplay. (Speaking of which, dammit, I still have to watch Wordplay! I gave it to my dad for his birthday with the express purpose of borrowing as soon as he was done watching. Yeah, I'm a selfless gift-giver.... Anyway, Allan is watching Hellboy right now, so I guess it'll have to wait....)

*sigh* Yup, I love these selfishly fabulous Saturdays. Honestly--the thought of having to give them up for another person is the best mo-fo birth control a gal could ever dream of!

Vagina-in-Pajiba Redux

I’m giddy as a schoolgirl--my Scorpion King / XXX review is on Pajiba today! It was really exciting being part of the Paheeeeba day contributions, but it’s a little bit scary to see something I’ve done all by myself up there.

Thanks to the Boozehound Cinephile for the inspiration, and apologies for taking your style and turning down the classiness level a notch or two. French .75s on me, my friend! Thanks also to Dustin for posting my little piece, and for creating this awesome site that spawned an equally awesome community!

I have to say, I don’t know how those guys manage to put together a lovely, polished piece every day, or even every week, and still hold down a job. How I envy you naturals. Took me ages to cobble together something halfway coherent.

The Slack-ass Naturalist Chronicles 2: Gannets

All right, for any of you who may have given me the benefit of the doubt as to just how much of a geek I really am, well...sorry. I'm a member of the Nova Scotia Bird Society, and attend birdwatching field trips pretty well every month of the year. With people whose median age is roughly double my own. *sigh* I know, but they're an awesome group, and it really is nice to get out and geek out now and then. I'd never get up the ambition if I didn't have an excuse to do so, and I want to learn more about ID-ing birds--it's a skill that I can use at work--and what better way than to go out with way more experienced birders than myself?!

November's field trip was to the Canso Causeway, where billfish on their annual migration tend to congregate. These billfish are a great food source for local birds--Bald Eagles and Gannets and many species of gulls among them. Unfortunately, the Causeway is about 2 hours' drive from home, which means I had to get up at 6:00 on a mother-effing Saturday morning, AND give up my beloved weekly pilgrimage to the local Farmer's Market. This is why I don't often go birding on my own--am not a morning person. It's a testament to my husband's awesomeness that he not only humours this silliness, he even joins me for some of the trips despite his better judgement (and takes great pictures, which I never think to do).

So, these are Gannets in action. The Gannet is lovely bird, bit bigger than a seagull, and as my dear lordhelmet can tell you, they wet their nests. (For the rest of you, look up the Monty Python bookstore sketch--it's great!) Gannets have the absolute coolest method of catching their food in the whole freakin' animal kingdom. Oookay, here's hoping I've correctly figured out how to install a video thingy into my blogamabob....




So if that didn't work...er...trust me, it's awesome. Basically, when fishing, they tuck in their wings and plunge into the water as they'd been shot. Great show, especially when there are hundreds of them feeding all at once!

Oh, the eagles put on a good display too. I'm a bit blase about them, since they're not uncommon around here, but to see them by the dozens (we counted about 100 over the course of the morning) is pretty freakin' cool.

So, all in all, a neat way to spend a weekend morning, lost hours of sleeping in aside (made up for that by sleeping 'til noon on Sunday...well, technically 11:00, thanks to the time change). Didn't hurt that Dave and Mary, the couple who leads the field trip, also hosted a spectacular lunch at their place after the field trip.

\geekitude (for now)

Putting the vagina in Pajiba.....

It's happening today. So excited...more than a little nervous...but mostly, very proud of how we've pulled it together. Special props to the incredible and organized Sofia on that front!

Hope everybody enjoys it.

On the road again...

What a week! I managed to convince my bosses that it'd be a good idea to send me to Fredericton for a course on fish research. Only got the final OK on the day before the course, giving me just enough time to find a rental and a place to stay. Left the office an hour early Tuesday to begin the 7 hour drive there, and arrived shortly after midnight after managing to get lost in Freddy (I hate driving in unfamiliar cities!). Woke up to a snowy morning...leading me to wonder why it is that every time I leave Nova Scotia, it snows on me. The course was great--very interesting. Afterward, I got to hang out with some of the biologists in our New Brunswick offices (I so rarely get to spend time with other biologists!), spent a little bit of time shopping (we have no proper bookstores OR coffeeshops here in Sydney, so I always spend time in a Chapters when I have a chance), and hit the road again. Made it home shortly before midnight on Wednesday.

The worst part about the drive was that the CD player in the rental played MP3s, but not WMA files (which is how I store most of my music). So, I had two play-able albums to last me over 14 hours. That was not going to work, so I stopped at the nearest place where I could buy music, and do you know how hard it is to find a music place around here? The best selection I could find was at the electronics section of the Antigonish Wal-Mart. Ugh, I hate shopping at Wal-Mart, but desperate times, people. I grabbed a few CDs of bands I'd heard about but hadn't yet listened to: Weezer, Alexisonfire, Sloan (pretty bad--they're from Nova Scotia and I've never listened to them!)...plus "best-of"s from from Radiohead (had one song that I didn't already have), and Simon & Garfunkel (had a few songs that I didn't). Turns out I enjoy Weezer, Sloan was pretty good on first blush and is really growing on me, Alexisonfire is...um....not my thing at all, but I must say that it's perfect music for driving when you're tired. The Radiohead best-of is great, of course (and since one of my two MP3 discs was In Rainbows, I had their whole career represented), and you can just never go wrong with Simon & Garfunkel. So pretty. However, I didn't put that one on until the return trip--it's much too soothing for driving after dark.

Along with these, I also have a few albums on order based on Che and Jeremy's suggestions (thanks, guys!), so my music collection is finally getting some new blood.

Spending 14 hours driving (actually closer to 16 for me, it was dark and raining most of the way) in a 30-hour period requires a hell of a lot of coffee. I had so much coffee (much of it the extra strong "double-blast" stuff from Irving gas stations) that I had an honest-to-goodness caffiene hangover on Thursday. Even though I was pretty close to falling asleep at my desk, I just couldn't bear the thought of drinking any! Happily, that didn't last.

Upon returing to the office, I got a message that I might be needed for some field work in northern Ontario next month. Wow, never a dull moment....

Happy Turkey Day!

Hey, fellow Canucks--happy Thanksgiving, and hope you all had a lovely long weekend! Me, I can't complain. Two turkey dinners, one with the parents and one with the mother in law, plus we were sent home with an entire pumpkin pie from mom (she makes the best pie ever) and all the leftovers from MIL's dinner (she makes the best stuffing ever). Win-win, baby. Win-win.

Oh, and happy Columbus Day, dear friends to the South....I'm sure that's a fun holiday, too..... *snicker*

*&^%$ politics....

Ugh! Politics. Everywhere, politics.

Municipal elections are on. Bunch of balding old small-town babies who were big shots in student council (if that), wanting to relive their glory days by running for local office. Every freakin' morning on the CBC radio local program, the host is talking to candidates from one district or another, and they all squabble like a bunch of effing children in the mistaken belief that the loudest prick wins. I hate hate hate it. Maybe if one of them could pretend to be capable of holding a civilized discussion, or could argue a valid point as opposed to making some juvenile remark about his opponents, I'd consider casting a vote.

And then, there's the federal election. Frustration. The left is so fractured, it looks like we'll be stuck with Captain Alberta Oil for another few years (or months, at the rate this country has been going with elections, for pete's sake). I don't know who to vote for: I like Dion and his plans for the environment, but don't know if he can win enough support. I quite like Layton, seems like a decent leader and I've heard he's a good debater, but again, not sure if he can pull it the votes. I don't like May, although I do like the Green party platform. Why in the hell they don't just form a leftie alliance is beyond me; it worked for the Conservatives and Reform Party back in the day (*heehee* Any of you Canucks remember the "Conservative Reform Alliance Party," a.k.a. "CRAP party" jokes?), and look at them now. Anyway, I ought to have watched some of the debates to get a more informed stance, but see my objections to municipal politicians. I just get too frustrated at the sniping and yelling and condescending talk to put up with it for any amount of time. Same reason why I despise reality TV. Are there no classy politicians out there? Hell, I'd settle for entertaining ones...whatever happened to politicians choking reporters and clubbing robbers with Inuit art? Ah, good ol' Cretien....

Even if I could escape the local and federal political coverage, there's no escaping U.S. elections in the media. Yeesh, at least there are some interesting characters in the running there, but I will still be very happy to see the end of it (much happier if Obama gets elected, mind you).

Argh! I know I should care, I really really should...but, well, see blog title. I don't. Nonetheless, I do realize that elected officials do have some say in my day-to-day life. I mean, a lot of my work depends on who's in government--the strength of environmental policy has a huge influence on the environmental consulting business, naturally. But...but...I just can't muster up the energy to listen to politicians talking. *sigh* I suppose I'll just have to buckle down and read some newspapers to try to get a feel for who is the lesser of the necessary evils in the federal election. But screw the municipal election--I refuse to be responsible for any of those babies getting elected. There. I said it. *insert maniacal laugh*

Pop Quiz: Who is your favourite lyricist? Show your work!

Okay, opinion time. Give me your favourite songwriters. Not necessarily your favourite artists, but the folks who writes the words to the songs that speak to you the most. Provide examples. Win me over--I need to expand my musical horizons!

Since this is my own little patch of the interworld, I'll go first. Hands down (and Jeremy, I'm sure you won't be surprised)--Ron Sexsmith. He's a Canadian artist who isn't nearly as well-known as he should be, in my humble opinion.

Exhibit A: Hands of Time (from Time Being)

"From the moment we are born,
We’re in the hands of time
As drunk on life as death is sober
When we say goodbye.

Though it hurts to lose a friend,
May it help remembering
For every door that closes in
One’ll open to the other side,
Opened by the hands of time"

(I find comfort in these words. Might need that comfort soon. Wishing and hoping that I don't.)

Exhibit B: Gold In Them Hills (Cobblestone Runway)

"But if we'd only open our eyes
We'd see the blessings in disguise:
That all the rain clouds are fountains.
Though our troubles seem like mountains,
There's gold in them hills"

(All sweet and optimistic, and kind of clever to boot.)

Exhibit C: Ship of Fools (Time Being)

"Life is not a parlour trick;
There’s no slight of hand.
Just tryin’ to save this sinking ship
And there’s no sight of land "

(What can I say? I'm just a sucker for wordplay.)

Okay, so that's my vote. People, please weigh in! Who rocks your world with their words?

The Slack-ass Naturalist Chronicles 1: Those naughty seabirds.

Okay, so I've alluded to my shady past as a puffin voyeur. Well, this little snippet seemed to intrigue some of my adoring fans (come on guys, stop snickering and let me dream!), so I've decided to give the people what they want. Or am I just using any excuse to indulge in my own geekery? You decide.

Back in my grad school days, I spent large stretches of my summers in a small shack on an island with fellow students. There were three to four of people on the island at any given time, usually all girls. Now fellas, before you get your imaginations all in a tizzy, I feel I should point out that there was no running water on this island. Yes, folks, I once went five weeks without washing my hair (word to the wise: keep it in pigtails or, better yet, braids--keeps it from getting too greasy). As for "showers," believe me, baby wipes are god's gift to field researchers.

My research focused on two species, the Atlantic Puffin (which most of you are familiar with), and its larger and less colourful relative, the Common Murre (which looks like a small penguin). Some basic info on these birds: they often mate for life, and they return to the exact same site year after year to breed. They are quite long-lived (30 years or so) and only raise one chick per year.

My work consisted of sitting for long periods of time in a cramped blind, and recording the behaviours of known individual birds. The sexiest research was on the Murres, because they breed out in the open, on a rocky cliff ledge, and our blind was seriously right at the edge of the colony. The one-way mirror that we sat behind was about two feet from the nearest birds, and there were about thirty marked pairs within about 6 metres of us. (Catching the birds to put colour-coded leg bands on them was an ordeal in itself, involving a fishing-line noose at the end of a pole. We had to try and sneak the noose around the neck of an unsuspecting bird, then drag him into the blind, much to the confusion of his onlooking neighbours.)

What sort of behaviours did we observe? Well, there were greeting displays when one's mate returned from feeding at sea (it sounds something like "AAAAAAAAGH-agh-agh-agh-agh-agh;" that sounds much better than it looks in type...ask me to do it at a party, after a few drinks....). There were weird and inexplicable behaviours, such as allopreening (which more often than not involved preening one's neighbour than one's own mate) and footlooking (which is exactly what it sounds like--the bird will just sit there looking at his/her feet for a while; it may have something to do with remnants of a bygone nesting instinct, because Murres just lay their eggs on bare rock...or maybe they're just introspective?). We recorded dates of egg laying and chick hatching, and we took note of when parents brought food to their chicks.

Oh, yeah--and we watched seabird sex. Lots and lots of seabird sex. These guys and gals got busy pretty frequently in the spring, and it was quite the process: Mrs. Murre would crouch down and tip up her tail, and Mr. Murre would hop on her back and rub his cloaca (naughty bit) back-and-forth in a fanning motion over hers. Another term for this activity is "the cloacal kiss." Très romantic. We would time the length of the event (usually in the 10-20 second range) and record who was involved. Typically, sex was between a mated pair; however, there were a number of what we tactfully referred to as "extra-pair copulations" or EPCs. Interestingly, if a couple did not sucessfully rear a chick the previous year, one or both partners would be more likely to engage in EPCs.

A final feminist thought, conventional wisdom in seabird biology held that female Murres were frequently subjected to "forced EPCs" (again with the tactful terminology), as a male strategy to pass on his genes without the hassle of taking care of the chick. Well, the ladies in my lab and I observed several of these events, and we never observed a successful forced EPC--if the lady Murre wasn't interested in the Murre-man, she just didn't tip up her tail. No unwilling copulations on the female's part = no successful sneaky fertilizations by the male. Take that, old male seabird biologists and your silly male-centric theories. Neat, huh?

Field daze....

Okay, life is slowly starting to revert to normal. *dramatic exhale* Man, much as I’ve enjoyed all the jet-setting, I really am a homebody. A nice, quiet weekend at home with my lovely husband sounds just dreamy right now. (Huh? It’s only Tuesday? Aww, rats.)

As for field work, things are starting to slow down there. Only a couple more days of electrofishing left to do here in Cape Breton, which my aching bones are thankful for. It’s been really cool--one of the first projects I can really call my own, as I’m both managing it and doing most of the field work. However, carrying around the 35 pound backpack electrofishing unit is murder on the back muscles, and coworkers I have out with me are: 1. the pregnant gal who can’t fish for obvious reasons, and 2.the guy who complains of a bad back--he can do it for an hour, and then I have to wear the unit the rest of the day. Frankly, I think he’s a little bit of a whiner. Okay, I’m hard on him; he’s a sweet guy, but I’m tired and cranky and in pain these days, so I reserve the right to bitch, dammit. Anyway, I do enjoy the fact that I can out-muscle the boy by a long shot.

Oh, I managed to shock myself pretty good yesterday thanks to a little teensy leak in my waders. That was fun. Well, maybe not fun, but kind of funny! It’s set to stun fish, so it really doesn’t pack enough punch to seriously hurt a gal. Just enough to make her whole lower leg feel all tingly (ooh, I shuddered just thinking about it right now!).

So, yes. Field season is coming to a close, and I will soon be in my happy little cubicle working on reports. And then, after a couple of months of that, I’ll be bored and wishing it was field season. I like my job.

What the....I'm stressed?!! That almost never happens!

Argh, dammit, dammit, dammit!

I'm getting a free trip to St. John's, Newfoundland. Home of the famous George Street, with its fifty zillion bars open 'til the wee hours. It's where I went to grad school, and I still have lots of friends there. It's all paid for, because I'm needed to attend a meeting Thursday afternoon. Awesome, right? Right???

But no, no...it kind of sucks. I have two reports for work that are due this week. I have a field program starting tomorrow (more fish stuff, this time here in Cape Breton), which I was really looking forward to. In order to minimize the amount of time I need to get someone to sub in my field work for me, I will be shucking off my chest waders to leave here tomorrow at 6 (arriving at midnight in Newfoundland)....and returning Friday at 5:30 in the morning, to arrive back here at 8:30 to get back into my waders.

Why do I have to go there? Haven't these people ever heard of teleconferencing?!! Oh, and when did I find out about this little trip? Two o'clock this afternoon. Argh! No warning!

Ah, well. I'm sure it won't suck entirely, and maybe-just-maybe I can meet up with a buddy there (I just put out the word on good ol' Facebook that I'm heading that way). Hey, on the bright side, because it's so last-minute, everything in town is booked up except for a $250/night spot called the Ryan Mansion. Sweet, eh?! Hey, maybe I'll pull an all-nighter on George Street and go straight from there to the airport. I've done that before.

Of course, last time I did that, I wasn't expected to strap on an electrofishing unit and head in to a stream......huh, maybe I'll have to pass on George Street.

Rats.

Lost In The Barrens

OK, a little about my trip north. I was asked to go to with three of my co-workers from other offices to the remotest wilds of Labrador. Ever heard of Goose Bay? Labrador City? Yeah, it's...nowhere near those. Look up, look wayyy up...

The town of Schefferville is actually on the Quebec side of the border, though our work kind of skirted the two provinces. It's largely Innu and francophone, but luckily for me, most people spoke better English that I did French; one member of our group had pretty good French skills, too. There are no roads to the town, so we were brought there by a charter flight. We had so much gear, they had to take out a seat and one of us got to sit in the co-pilot chair. We all took turns--it was awesome!

We stayed in a rented house with a bunch of drillers and an intimidating French cook lady with crazy hair. We stayed up late on the night we arrived, talking and having a few beers....only to be sternly reprimanded by the cook and again by the site foreman the next day for "partying"! Yikes!! I think the cook held a grudge against us for the rest of our stay, because she seemed far less cranky toward the drillers....

So, the work part was great. We did a little bit of boating, a little bit of fishing...neat stuff. I lucked out and was working with a great bunch of guys. The rugged terrain was amazing, and there were blueberries, partridgeberries AND wild currants all in season--yummy. There was lots of great wildlife--spruce grouse, ptarmigan...we didn't see any caribou, but there were bears in the town dump, and we had an amazing look at a lone wolf.

At the insistence of our Innu guide, we made a point of going out to the Caribou Bar. We didn't take him up on all that he offered ("You like weet? Da bartender, he sell goot weet. I ulwayss buy weet from him. You should try it. Is goot weet."), although when the generous native dude was passing his around at the end of the night, well, who were we to say no? (man, I hadn't done that since university!) One painful side effect of being in such a remote area, though, is the prices are a leeetle inflated. Our first round--two double rye&gingers and a double Scotch for the lads, and a double G&T for me--came to "cinquant dollars." I was praying that my memories of high school french were wrong, and "cinquant" meant "fifteen" and not "fifty"...sadly, I was right. Ouch! We stuck with the $6 beer after that (ugh, and NO good beers. I was stuck drinking Blue.)

Anyway, that's enough chatter for now, I'll leave you with a photo of the town's most famous landmark: Iron Man. (sigh, I can only dream that RDJ is this well-hung....)

Ummm...hello, I guess....

Okay, let's see if I can get in to this whole blogging thing. I'm getting to know some of my online buddies so well that I'm starting to feel like I'm holding out on them. No promises that I'll be a terribly regular poster; it's one of those things I never thought I would bother with.

Then again, I also thought I'd never be the sort who would go to a gym, but I did that and found it surprisingly therapeutic, so who knows?

First off, a big ol' thank you to the folks who inspired me to start this crazy thing: my cousin Berna, who has been faithfully blogging about her family life for a while now, and my online buddies like Jeremy and Che Grovera, whose fantastically witty, wise, charming and poignant styles remind me that you don't have to be a professional writer to be damned fun to read.

Yeah, you guys rock!

Okay, just to set the stage and give you all a little context, let me introduce myself. I`m a born-and-raised country girl. Not in the sense that I grew up on a farm with my dear ol`grandpappy or anything like that; rather, I grew up in the `suburbs` of a village of 2500. Had no close neighbours, and my best friend lived 15 mins away by car. For the most part, I was a very quiet, shy and sheltered little girl...daughter of a hardcore Catholic who knows everyone in the comunity, so my chances for badassery were very limited.

Went away for university, where I was still pretty introverted, but enjoyed my freedom (thought I didn`t go too nuts with it). Started dating my now-husband within a week of starting university (he was a high school friend, so we had a little head start in that respect). Majored in biology, as I was always a nature geek and it came naturally. Went on to a masters, strictly because I didn`t know what to do after graduation except continue school. Loved my masters work, but came to the conclusion that I had too little curiosity and too much common sense to make it in academia.

So, upon graduating with an M. Sc. in the eminently unemployable field of seabird reproductive behaviour (i.e., I watched puffins do the nasty), I moved back to Cape Breton (this time to the more populous side of the island) and attempted to find work. Lucked out and found myself working for an environmental consulting firm, where I enjoy a lovely mix of indoor and outdoor work, occasionally sprinkled with a dose of travel for far-away jobs.

Okay, enough about me for now. I`ll be back when I come up with something interesting to say. At least, I hope it`s interesting...we`ll see, I guess.